What if hope doesn’t depend on a breakthrough?

A few weeks ago, I was ready to give up.

We obeyed You, Lord.
We moved from the place we called home.
We stepped into uncharted waters and our finances sank.

We can’t pay our bills. I’ve applied for countless jobs and been denied every single one. Four recruiters — no prospects. I made it to the final round for a position and was still turned away.

On top of that, I battle OCD. My husband wrestles with depression and trauma. Life already felt heavy, and then it became unbearable. We make just a bit too much to qualify for government assistance, yet not enough to stay afloat. The calls, emails, and letters from bill collectors haven’t stopped.

“God… where are You?”

A few weeks back, I shared how Psalm 77 was keeping me above water. Phrases like “When I think of God, I moan… You have closed Your door of compassion on me” resonated deeply. That’s exactly how I felt.

For weeks, I lived in that space, surrounded by well-meaning encouragement, from friends and family, about God’s promises and faithfulness, but honestly… I didn’t want to hear it.

How can I see His faithfulness when everything keeps getting worse?

So I clung to Psalm 77. I meditated on His past faithfulness. And I stayed there. But as I continued to sit in that space, something began to shift.

I prayed, “God, if You want me to trust You now, I need YOUR HELP to see Your faithfulness now. Not just in the past, not far off in the future but here, today. Because I can’t make it otherwise.”

And in typical God fashion… He answered.

A Changed Perspective

As I kept reflecting on His goodness in the past, He began showing me His faithfulness in the present — not by changing my circumstances, but by changing my perspective of what His goodness actually looks like.

Common sense, right? Of course we should align with God’s will over our own. But it’s so much easier said than done.

He convicted me to study and pray, and He began teaching me about contentment, goodness, and His glory:

Ezekiel 1 reminded me that God’s glory is beyond logic or human understanding.

• Ezekiel’s description of God’s throne is bizarre, yet that’s how God chose to reveal His Kingdom. Maybe the hard, illogical, even “shameful” circumstances in our lives can also display His glory — if we surrender our limited perspective.

1 Timothy 6:6–8 reminded me that “godliness with contentment is great gain.”

• Paul is writing to Timothy about what real wealth looks like. If you’re growing in godliness and can find contentment (this sense of self-sufficiency and satisfaction) in it, then you are rich. And if you have basic needs met, like food and clothing, you should be content.

• I have food. I have clothing. And God is at work sanctifying me. Everything beyond that, my home, family and friends, furniture, a car, hobbies, and experiences, is pure overflow of God’s faithfulness and goodness.

• The American lifestyle often distorts our view of God’s goodness in this way, because our ideas of wealth and success are about “abundance”. I’m not dismissing the challenges you face, and I don’t think Paul was either. He endured unimaginable hardships for Christ. Yet, he still highlights the importance of contentment and FOUND it.

A Deeper Hope

My hope is no longer in breakthrough.
My hope is in Christ. (Romans 5:3–5)

When I pray now, I release my requests to however He sees fit to answer not how I expect Him to. Because He knows best.

Maybe you’re in a similar place. Maybe your dissatisfaction is revealing something deeper — grief over what you thought life would look like, or what you expected your walk with God to be. Maybe you need to be honest with Him:

“God, I don’t trust You right now.”
Or, “I don’t even have it in me to hope.”

And that’s okay. Let Him do the heavy lifting. Be human enough to admit your anger, fear, or apathy — and let Him carry you through it.

I’m still wrestling. Still anxious and beyond stressed. Still unsure of what’s next.
But His goodness and faithfulness are clearer to me than ever before.
And that gives me hope — not just for eternity, but for now...

“I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13)

Dare to hope again — but let God do it.
He delights in keeping you. (Jude 24)