What Grace Builds When I Feel Broken

To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to write. I don’t have any deep reflections or revelations from the Lord that feel “worth” sharing today. But that might just be the depression talking. shrugs

What hit me, truly like a ton of bricks yesterday, was this idea that sometimes you just have to keep going regardless of how uninspired you feel, how little motivation you have, or how depleted your energy seems. And then, on top of that, comparison decided to show up. My timeline was full of brilliant content creators in the mental health and faith space. And while I genuinely enjoy their work by commenting, subscribing, engaging in their content, my mind still drifted toward thoughts like: Look how great they are. Look how many followers they have. Look how much more they can do or say.

Comparison, for me, often opens the door to shame and those familiar thoughts of not feeling good enough. And once shame settles in, it paralyzes me. Suddenly I don’t want to create, write, post, counsel or anything God has asked me to do in this season.

Yesterday, I even planned to skip Bible study and just listen to a Christian podcast I’d started. But God gently redirected me back to Romans 1, which I’ve been studying for a while, and the next verse on my list was verse 5. 

“Through Christ, God has given us the privilege[a] and authority as apostles to tell Gentiles everywhere what God has done for them, so that they will believe and obey him, bringing glory to his name.” 

In the ESV version, the word privilege translates directly to grace…

Paul is talking to the church in Rome about Jesus Christ, and right at the beginning of the letter he says we have received grace and apostleship (authority, leadership, privilege) to share the good news so that people might believe, submit, and bring glory to God’s name. And because I am a believer in Jesus Christ, called to the same purpose of spreading the good news, that same reality applies to me by God’s grace alone.

This verse that seemed so random (as if anything in Scripture is truly random) struck me deeply. Paul never said that their privilege or authority depended on their own ability to obey perfectly, preach perfectly, teach perfectly, love perfectly. Because it came from God, it wasn’t about their ability at all. It was rooted in His favor, His love, and His abundant grace poured over Paul to do the work he was called to do and go beyond him when his strength failed him. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

And that reminded me: God’s grace gives me the grace, privilege and authority, to do what He’s called me to do, even in the midst of depressive symptoms, an anxiety disorder, financial stress, grief… all of it.

So if His grace, and not my ability, is what gives me the right to do His will, then even if I show up with the little 10% strength I have, His 90% (and beyond) can go further than my capacity ever could. Because it was never supposed to be about my strength anyway.

So, yeah. Hopefully you can see that if you’re a believer in Jesus Christ, called to His purpose on this earth, then those days where you’re dragging your feet with only 10% to give, the days where you’re thriving at 90%, or the days where you coast through at 50%...none of that disqualifies you from the call. My depressive symptoms may make it harder for me to concentrate, think creatively, pray, or hold onto the Cross. Especially when comparison creeps in and sends me spiraling into analysis paralysis. But Romans 1:5 remains clear.

God never banked on my ability. He only needed my “yes” and my willingness to offer what little I think I have. His grace takes care of the rest. Every single time.

So hold on to that truth today. Because no matter what stands in your way, whether today or in the days to come, His grace will work in you, for you on YOUR behalf, and through you… even in spite of you.